Your
Guide
Who Am I?
Yoga is a journey, and the journey becomes a story.
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My story begins in a bookstore on State Street in Madison, Wisconsin, where I was attending the University. I was the typical student…full of curiosity, about the future and my place in it. Walking the aisles in this bookstore, a small black book caught my eye; a book called Siddartha. I picked it up and found comfort in the words that I was reading, so I bought the book and put it in my backpack, where it remained for the rest of my time at Madison.
As I sat on Bascom Hill between classes, I would take the book out regularly, and read for however long I had time. I would read it to the end and then start it again as the words and story continued to bring me back to a place where I traveled inward and felt the peace and calm of removing myself from the hectic world of being a college student. I didn’t find out until years later that Siddhartha was the Buddha and the story was his life and teachings. As I reflect back, I realize that it was the beginning to my quest for the Truth and the question “Who am I”.
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“Spiritual” was a word that I didn’t yet understand, but these teachings resonated with me at a deeper level, and always brought me back to what I later realized was “home”. And “home” is our true nature. This book was the beginning of the desire to learn and understand this other state of mind....consciousness, as the Scriptures call it.
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After graduating, I married, but after 23 years and 3 children, the marriage broke. At that point in my journey, I realized I didn't know who I was...I was lost. Oriah Mountain Dreamer said it so well, when she wrote “What if the question is not why am I so infrequently the person I really want to be, but why do I so infrequently want to be the person I really am”.
Our societal roles become so strong over time that I believe, we don’t know who we really are to even ask that question. My “I” was so strongly connected to the roles of mother, wife, friend, and co-worker, that although these roles were very long in the making, their essence was gone in an instance when the divorce became final. I was left to pick up the pieces. But here was the opportunity to now pick up the pieces who reflect who I really was and begin to understand this question and to look at why I kept pushing to be better at the roles that were taking me away from who I really was.
Society doesn’t always make discovering our true selves easy. I wasn't sure how to go forward to pick up the pieces, but I did know that I must find all the ways, people, places and practices that support me in living my life being who I truly am.
I began a journey of reading, journaling, and experimenting. I found that it is hard to be truly honest with yourself and stick to what is right for you. I felt as though I was swimming upstream for many of the following years. To transcend the roles and create new roles that embraced my life in society but staying true to who I was, meant to be strong and honest with myself about those choices and actions that are inconsistent with my deepest nature and soul’s desires. I had to learn how to “dance”.
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This passion and burning desire propelled me into readings of the Vedanta (the collection of interpretations and meanings of the spiritual texts). It took me to workshops and also the discovery of Yoga. It led me to the spiritual pilgrimages where I continued to learn and seek the answer to this question. It became a quest and a daily practice that brings me now to this website and desire to teach and help others travel on their journey. It all comes down to the awareness that there is a higher consciousness, an awareness of the Witness self, and the desire to navigate the difficult waters of understanding what is our true nature and what is our egoic nature, and a passion to transcend.
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Yoga is a liberation teaching. It is an incredible path that gives us the working model and answers, but we must do the work to get to the answers as many of the answers will not make sense until we do…This is why Yoga is an experiential journey. The answers to the Truth do not lie in study alone, but in the seeking and experimenting.
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I believe in, and have experienced, the presence of energy. It is explained all through the yoga teachings…Pranayama, Shakti, Kundalini, the Nadis, and the Chakras. As I explored energy, my journey led me to Reiki and the study of the healing power of energy. It became another vehicle for me to share and help others balance their energy in a healing way.
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It was important to me that I share who I am through my journey to live my authentic self. I hope I can inspire you through this website and the thoughts and teachings within, to continue to be the seeker and find your true happiness. To continue to find the desire and strength to become the person “who you really are.”
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Namaste,
Suzi